First up, take look at THIS:

Step up and take a bow Matthew of Runcorn, Cheshire (UK), for this fantastic pic of one of the Chinj from Black Tat. You can bet it’ll be up on the Black Tat site’s Reader Art Page for posterity to savour just as soon as THE WEBSPHINX gets back from maternity leave. -I mean, isn’t it terrific? 🙂 🙂

Now: Q&A time again – and given the current international financial shenanigans it’s a fairly topical one, being as it is about money. Gemma, from Osbourne, one of the schools I visited on my Isle of Wight Tour, asks:

When someone buys one of your books, does all the money go to you?

The answer, unfortunately for me I guess(!) is No. I get a percentage, sure, but it’s not massive – it varies, but a guideline figure would be around ten percent of cover price. That means that for each copy of the UK paperback of Black Tat, for example – current cover price five pounds ninety-nine – I theoretically get something like sixty pence. Factor in stuff like paying my agents, my taxes and other costs, and it’s less – maybe 40p a copy.

Seems unfair? Actually it’s nothing like as bad as it sounds. Don’t forget, books cost money to make, as well as write. From the proceeds of each copy sold the publishers also have to pay – to name just a few – editors, proofreaders, designers, artists, printers, the marketing team, the sales force, booksellers (in the form of discounts) and many more other costs besides. A huge amount of work and commitment and effort goes into every single book, from lots of people besides the writer.

But, yeah. If you’re thinking that you would have to sell a lot of books to get really stinking rich at this “author” caper, you’d be absolutely right. So: I would never recommend writing as a sensible career choice for anyone. On the contrary, as a kindly author once told me when I was starting out, Don’t do it unless you can possibly avoid it! Big names like Rowling, Patterson, Meyer or Paolini might make headlines for their fortunes, but they are exceptional. If you want to make money there are much easier ways to do it than writing books.

For myself, money is, naturally, great when it comes. But the only way I can sanely proceed with my own sinister masterplan to conquer the universe is with insane ambition (of course!) but without any actual expectations other than the continuing chase after my own passion for, and belief in, what I’m doing.

Anything else – including awesome Reader Art (thanks, Matthew!) and excellent questions like this (thanks, Gemma!) – I tend to see as a bonus. YAY! 🙂

Q&A time again – in a new and sinister way! This one goes out to Andrew from Essex, who wrote in to the Tim Guestbook last week. Please excuse my stumbling steps with this new gadget: Guillermo del Toro I most certainly ain’t! ;p

The music that’s adding some much-needed class to my, um, somewhat ad hoc title sequence(!) is Dreadlock, by Future Prophecies. Got another question for me? Now you know what to do! ;p

Meanwhile, in other news, I’m ECSTATIC to announce that we have a brand new winner in the Black Tat No Monsters Were Harmed In The Making Of This Website Competition! Yes! Step forward and take a bow Jamie with his awesome Nectarine Slices! Isn’t that beautiful? It looks just like something from the Dragon‘s insides, or the end of the universe. Or, as readers of Black Tat will know, both – HEE HEE HEE! 🙂 The competition continues. Fancy your chances? Give it a wallop!

I’m writing this in some haste, partly because of all the hours I’ve ended up spending fiddling with this film. It’s harder than it looks! -Or, heh, it was for me, anyhow! 😉 But it was a worthy experiment, I hope you’ll agree, and one that I may repeat from time to time in the future. However, now I need to get away from the screen and get some shut-eye, because I have an amazing week of events in front of me! Tomorrow I’m doing my stuff at Burford School, in Oxfordshire. On Monday I’m off to The City of London School For Boys for four short talks there. Then on Tuesday (get this!) I’m travelling to The Isle of Wight for a three-day tour of schools there! By the sounds of it I’m going to be speaking to some of my biggest audiences yet. I’m very excited! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Today’s a public holiday here in the UK. Me, I’m just packing up my trappings before setting out on an overnight train to Edinburgh, Scotland for two days of events to do with The RBS Schools Programme of the Edinburgh International Book Festival. HURRAH! 🙂

-Ahem! Yes, as you can probably tell I’m rather excited. 😉 Over the next few days I hope to post some pics here and let you know how the trip went. Meanwhile here are a couple of quick bits and pieces before I go…

First up, I am absurdly delighted to announce that we have another winner for the ongoing Black Tat No Monsters Were Harmed In The Making Of This Website Competition: take a bow Xiaoyao from Australia (and Xiaoyao’s dad!) with… THIS. Don’t forget to click top right of that page to find out where this highly sinister and atmospheric image actually came from (HEE HEE HEE!) The next round of the NMWHIT MOTWC is now officially open. Send us your horrible things! 🙂

Next we have a fine new piece of Black Tat Reader Art, from Robert, of the band Siemi Suicide: click on the link and scroll down to check out his splendid penmanship. Robert wrote to the Black Tat Guestbook to ask permission to use Ashmon and Heshmim’s names for the band’s first album. I was delighted and honoured to say yes. Thank you, Robert!

Finally, if you have a few more spare minutes, here is an interview with me by Liz, charming co-creator of the excellent blog My Favourite Books. She’s also written a lovely review of Black Tat. Thank you, Liz!

And now… back to packing!

Today I’m taking a little bit of time out from writing Phase Three to write this instead. Partly that’s because this blog is (gulp!) a month out of date, and partly because…

Yes! I’m not into cake – strange I know, but true – so the above is exactly what it looks like: my lovely girlfriend Laura stuck a bunch of candles into an enormous tomato [one of my favourite things – that’s tomatoes nb, not candles, which tend to coat the tongue a bit I find] and rested it on a bed of [another of my favourite things] pistachio nuts.

Mmmmm. Pistachio nuts. 🙂

This post is mainly by way of an enormous THANK YOU – to anyone who happens to be reading this, but particularly to the people who have been sending me kind and lovely messages over the last month or so, whether via the Black Tat Guestbook, the Tim Guestbook, Jagmat’s MySpace, my Facebook, LibraryThing and Bebo profiles, or any other way they’ve managed to reach me. I’ve had my nose pressed pretty firmly to the Phase Three grindstone lately, and your encouragement is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

As, um, a token of gratitude – for whatever it’s worth! – I’d like to present an old short story of mine that I recently dug up from the archives and dusted off. It’s called Tongues and Other Parts. You can find it on the ‘Who Is Sam Enthoven?’ page of the Tim website, or just click here.

While you’re in a links-clicking kind of mood, check out the Black Tat Reader Art Page, where (if you scroll right down) you can see a beautiful butterfly that looks like it’s come straight off Esme’s wall – thank you, Daisy-May!

And now, also via my Bebo page, here’s an excellent bit of Q&A that neatly sums up exactly what I’ve been doing (and feeling) for most of the last six weeks, and probably will be for most of the next. Take a bow Beth, who says:

grr
i am a little annoyed with you at the moment
i am trying to write a short story (but it is turning into a long one)
anyway you write good books and they are really cool and i can’t write anything good. the plot either goes too fast or too slow. when i try to leave a bit of mystery in my characters it ends up that we don’t know enough. it is very annoying.
on second thoughts it’s not your fault it is just a bit annoying!
grr
p.s. Any tips??

Beth, I know what you mean: writing is incredibly frustrating sometimes. If it’s any consolation, I don’t really feel any different! I’m working on a new book right now, I’ve got lots of ideas for it, I’m very excited about it, but when it comes to /writing/ the d&mn thing it often feels as though all I’m turning out is SLUDGE! The difference between what you want to do and how a thing comes out first time is just infuriating. I’m sorry to tell you there’s no easy way around it. It’s always like this!

But at the same time, YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT: if you’re determined enough; if you learn to ignore (or trick) the critic in your head that tells you that everything you do is rubbish; if you /keep going/.

You learn how to write by doing it. You can only get better by failing first. Once you /finish/ a story, get to the end somehow, then you can go back over it and change it and polish it to make it better. But you can’t polish something that doesn’t exist.

In short, Keep Writing! Best, Sam

thank you i will keep trying!

tell me do you always know were the plot is going in your stories?? do you have to have an ending set out?? what are you working on now??
bibi
beth

We talked about keeping going, right? A planned-out plot can really help with that. If you know what’s going to happen it’s much easier to work towards it. You can also fill a story with things you’re really looking forward to writing (eg destroying the Houses of Parliament, in Tim!) And it helps give your story a structure, a satisfying shape – rather than just hoping that it’s somehow going to come together as you go. I plan my stories as carefully as I can, working out as much as possible before I start writing.

HOWEVER: there’s always a point where you realise that a lot of the answers in a story just aren’t going to come until you’re in the thick of it. The story I’m on right now basically involves nine young people who are stuck together in a small room – trapped there by something horrible. It was hard to know how those characters were going to interact (and who would survive!) until I started writing the scenes.

Still is, tbh! I’d best get back to it.
Chin chin!
Sam

Russell Hoban, who is one of my favourite writers, once said: “A writer at a desk is nothing very heroic and yet you have to find ways of feeling heroic because the effort required certainly is.”

Aside from the kindness and encouragement of others, current ways for me also include: rereading (again!) TRANSMETROPOLITAN, by Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson; interviews with and dvd commentaries by John Carpenter; sushi; remembering to come out of the house and meet people who aren’t imaginary on at least a semi-regular basis – and listening at least twice a day to this. [NB: the LastFM playlist link in the post below broke about a week after I posted it, and now even if you click through to my profile you can only hear clips – why??]

Back to the bathysphere. Wish me luck. 😉

For the next couple of months my life is mostly going to look like this:

The end of the school year means no more visits for a while – which is good timing for me, because in September (eek!) I’m due to hand in the first draft of Phase Three of my Sinister Masterplan to Conquer the Universe. I’ve been working on it seriously for over a year now, but the next two months are the crunch. Yep, it’s time for me to focus on writing my next book.

My posts here may become a bit (as in ‘even more’!) sporadic. Well, as I mentioned on the Black Tat news page last time things reach this point there’s probably only a limited amount of ‘I sat here making things up and occasionally tearing the last of my hair out‘ that you’d be interested in hearing, anyhow! But if I’m not updating often enough for you over the rest of the summer, then I’m sorry. Rest assured, like the cheesiest (and best) kinds of villains, I will be back. 😉

-Couple of last things before I sign off, though…!

First up, contracts! To my great glee and delight I’ve just signed a deal for Tim to be translated into German, and I’m about to sign another for Black Tat to be published in Romania! I love the idea of my stories being translated into different languages, so this makes me very, very happy! HURRAH! 🙂

Next, here’s a lovely message I got this week through my Bebo page, from Jakub, who kindly writes:

“Dude you’re seriously so amazing (you were in the libary at elthorne i was there)
seriously you really inspired me……..i really want to like make a rock band in future and be the drummer in the band (i play the drums).
could you give me some advice?
oh and you dont have to answer this….but what music do you like?

P.S your books are awesome dude……….”

Aw, thanks Jakub! I’m blushing! ;p
Actually as a drummer (as long as you’re good at it, of course!) I think you’re in a good position. I’m a guitar player, and I can tell you there are loads more bands looking for drummers than there are ones looking for guitarists! So you shouldn’t be short of opportunities to chase that dream if you want it.

The problem, of course, is the other stuff.

Like writing, being a musician is not a steady life in terms of planning a long-term future, and that can be a problem for some people. The chances are you will have to put up with poverty at some point, and probably for what feels like a long time (learn to love veg – veg is cheap, tastes nice, and keeps you alive!!) You will have to work a day job (mine, a bookshop, was mostly fun but very badly paid) You will also have to deal with relatives – and probably many other people – who will think that you are completely mad (and like I think I said at Elthorne, they’ll probably be right!) But if you have a dream, your dream, and you’re prepared to work hard for it, you should definitely chase it. Life’s simply too short to do anything else.

As to music, well: www.last.fm/listen/user/othersam/pla…

That’s a list of things I recently picked out on Last FM – soundtracks, drum and bass, crackly old blues and other stuff I like. …But like the advice above, it’s just my opinion! 😉
Best wishes to you,
Sam

Oof. Sorry for the terrible pun, but the opportunity was just too good to resist. You see, while my US readers are off enjoying what I hope is a very fine holiday weekend :), over here in the UK the book trade is currently celebrating a rather wonderful new initiative…

This week(1st-8th July) is Independent Booksellers Week, part of the Love Your Local Bookshop campaign. Here’s how you can help. Step one: click here to be taken to a special search engine where you can find the nearest small, cool, unusual, original, awesome bookshop in your area. Step two: think about maybe paying them a visit!

By the way, here’s a quiet word from /my/ local independent bookshop…!

Yep, it’s the Big Green Bookshop, and they’re absolutely brilliant. Click on the link to find out more about them. 🙂

Meanwhile, here are some follow-up questions from my visit to Elthorne Park high school on Wednesday.

First up is Daisy from the Tim Guestbook, who says,

“Hi you came to my school today and you were talking to us in the library. I was really inspired and bought Tim, Defender of the Earth. You also then told us it might be turned into a FILM. If it is this might be a strange question but could i be in it cause i love acting and its my dream and you said to us follow our dreams so that’s what i’m doing. I’d love to hear more. Daisy.”

Thanks, Daisy!

OK. It’s true that (whisper it-!) my agent is currently negotiating a film deal for Tim with a major Hollywood film studio. I wasn’t going to say anything here on the site, because we haven’t signed contracts yet – so in fact that’s almost all I’m going to say on the subject for the time being! But while I’m delighted and honoured to hear that my talk inspired you, I’m afraid I’ve got to give you (and anyone else who asks me this) what might seem at first glance to be a bit of a discouraging answer.

If this deal does finally come together [we’re getting close!] …and if the film gets to the point where its makers start casting actors [which, incidentally, is a much bigger ‘if’: Neil Gaiman, who’s had quite a few film deals now, says “I’ve learned never quite to believe that one of my stories is going to be turned into a film until I’m actually buying the popcorn”!] …then even though I’m the author of the book I will have no control over who is in the movie.

I’m actually ok with that, by the way. Those kinds of decisions, I think, are generally much better left up to the people who are making the film. But to be blunt, I’m the wrong person to ask this question. Sorry!

If (if, if) a Tim movie does get to the casting stage, and if (if, if) the producers decide to give a general casting call for auditions, I will of course do my best to announce it here on the blog. That, however, is all I can tell you for now. But Daisy, I wish you the very best of luck.

Next up, through my new Facebook page, take a bow Oliver, who asks: “When you read passages of your books does it feel weird to read something that you have produced and made for yourself? Thanks for your time. Yours,
Oliver”

Hi Oliver. Thanks for getting in touch.

Reading your own stuff out to people is one of those things that definitely seems like it would be weird before you do it, but once you’ve done it a few times it actually gets less weird quite quickly. I remember watching authors and thinking, ‘Wow, what would that be like?’ Now I’ve been doing events for a couple of years I’m pretty much used to it.

It helps that I did a lot of reading aloud at school, performing in plays and whatnot: through doing that I learned to be a confident speaker, which has turned out to be very, very useful! Another thing that helps make it feel less weird is that I sometimes read my stuff out to myself while I’m writing or editing it. That, incidentally, is an excellent way of checking that one’s sentences are as clear and concise as they can be (eg, running out of breath? time to cut that sentence in half! ;p) And of course, before performing anything I’ve written, I try to make sure I’ve had plenty of practice.

But yes, the first time I try out new material on an audience… that is kind of freaky and nervous-making, I have to admit!

OK, that’s all for now folks. I’ve got to get back in my bathysphere for Phase Three. Today’s research topics have included virus reproductive cycles, spores, germination, and a biological basis for immortality. A very fine weekend to you, too! 😉

PS: Here are some astonishingly beautiful photos of migrating Golden Rays.

Yesterday I was doing my stuff at The Marlborough School, in Oxfordshire. It was my second visit to the school, and a fantastic day – every bit as good as the first one, maybe even better!

To my great glee and delight, Marlborough’s awesome librarian Alicia Marshall had invited me back for three double sessions – of an hour and a half each – to speak to the whole of Year 8. Now: I don’t normally speak for that long at a stretch, but all sixty students in each group were so attentive, and their questions so good, that the time zipped past just fine. There were just two minor hitches…

In the first session, a member of the audience got a terrible nosebleed and had to rush from the room: I hear she’s fine, no worries, but a casualty in one of my audiences was sort of an unwelcome first for me! And in the third session, my rambling was suddenly interrupted by some ominous DONK DONK DONK-ing sounds coming from the library ceiling.

The culprit turned out to be a crow, pecking on one of the skylights as if trying to get our attention. Well, it worked. Initially I thought that maybe the bird was signalling approval of how the day had been going: appreciative reactions to my work are always welcome, from all species, so I felt kind of pleased. But the true nature of this corvid’s feelings about my bletherings was about to become all too clear. Abruptly the young lady sitting beneath the skylight looked down at me with a terrible look of horror and disgust.

‘What?’ I said. ‘What’s happened?’

‘It pooed,’ she said.

Well, I’m glad I got a better reception from Marlborough’s students than I did from its bird population! ;p

Today’s big Guestbook shout goes out to Katherine, who asks: Why did you want to write?

Hi, Katherine! Thanks for your question.

The reason I wanted to write is the same reason I’m still writing – the reason that being a published author is my dream, and I’m pedalling to keep up with it as fast as I can: I write because I love it.

I love imagining things – making up fantastical situations, characters, stories and, heh, monsters!

I love the way that there’s always something new to learn about writing – new skills and techniques to develop and, one day (I hope, if I’m lucky and work hard enough), to master.

Best of all, I love the effect that good books have on me – and the tantalizing prospect of one of my stories having that effect on someone else.

Writing suits me. It gives me things that seem worth hanging big chunks of my life on. For anyone reading this, I hope you find something that does the same for you.

My thanks to Alicia Marshall for inviting me back, and to the Year 8 students of the Marlborough School for giving me such a warm welcome.

Out on the school visit trail again today, this time to Broxbourne School, in Hertfordshire. In pretty quick succession I did three talks (of around fifty mins each) to sixty Year 9 students, sixty Year 7s, and sixty Year 8s — yep, a hundred and eighty young people in total!

I was delighted and honoured to get the chance to talk to so many…

…and to be honest, when I’d managed to get through all three sessions without spitting on anyone by mistake or spilling my drinking water down myself (both serious dangers with me!) I have to say I felt pretty /relieved/, too! ;p

My thanks to Sue Shaper for kindly inviting me, and to anyone I spoke to who’s reading this, thank you for listening.

At the end of each session I handed out (my latest thing-) some business cards that I’ve had printed up with the Sam Enthoven portal page address on them. This was to encourage anyone who had any follow-up questions to get in touch with me, either through my various social network profiles (see my previous post!) or through the Black Tat and Tim Guestbooks. Speaking of which…

To my great glee, on returning to my desk I discovered some AWESOME new Guestbook entries! Today’s big shout (or giant monster roar) goes out to Sienna from Toronto on the Tim Guestbook (thank you so much, Sienna!) but also to Linda from Germantown, Maryland on the Black Tat one, who writes:

Hey, I LOVED the book. It was imaginative, suspenseful [which, ahem, led me to flip to later events] and just….kinda fills up a little hole in ya,…ya know? And I totally loved the London speeches in it like git. I don’t know if you know it but your humor in the book made me laugh laugh. Not in my mind haha-let’s-read-on.
Anywho, I have a few questions I hope you answer:

1. How do you figure out names or looks for the monsters? Like the Chinj? [They’re actually kinda cute in my mind lol]
2. How do you imagine the dragon’s inside? It seems kind of hard…
3. How do you find a publisher [or agent first?] to read your manuscripts? I know I’m young but I really do plan on becoming an author. Although I’m actually procrastinating quite a bit. But I really wanted to know how to get one and do you have to pay them? Thanks for reading and/or answering my questions! :] LOVED the Black Tattoo. Can you just make a small book about Jagmat coming into Earth and Jack and Esme’s relationship? If you don’t, then, ah well, I tried. 😛

oh P.S I still don’t know what the password’s for!

Hi Linda! Thanks for getting in touch, and thanks so much for the kind words!

1. Thinking up names and looks for monsters is something that I personally don’t find too hard. In fact – as you’ve probably guessed from my stories – there’s almost nothing I love better! Dreaming them up and giving them personalities is an absolute delight, for me. And once you’ve done that, finding names for them is a matter of picking something that best suits that particular monster.

One trick that I found worked well for several of the demons in Black Tat was to write lists of words that /sounded/ close to the sort of effect I was after. I’d then take individual syllables or letters from those words and recombine them in different ways until I had something that fit. ‘Chinj,’ though, came from a billboard ad I passed when I was on the bus one day! The word caught my eye, I did a double-take and realised I’d misread it, but by then the word ‘chinj’ was stuck in my mind – and my weird brain was already whirring into action! Monster names can come from all sorts of places. /Human/ names, however… wow, now those are /hard/. 😉

2. Imagining the Dragon’s insides? Nothing to it: just go to Google Images and type ‘Endoscopy’ – though you’d maybe better not try it if you’re eating. HEE HEE HEE! ;p

3. How do you find a publisher? Or an agent? Hmmmmmmm. Actually, again, ‘finding’ them is easy. There are various books (depending on where in the world you live) which list details of where to send your stuff, and what to send. You should be able to find those in your local public library, or on the internet. Looking at who publishes (and represents) your favourite authors is a pretty good place to start, too.

The hard bit, of course, is getting a publisher or agent to take you on.

First, concentrate on creating the absolute hands-down best book you can possibly write. This, really, is the most important step. Until you get past this stage – and have a complete, finished book that you are proud of and you think might stand up against other books – things like agents and publishers are very unlikely to follow. So, to reiterate: first, write your book.

If your book is good enough and you find a proper publisher who loves it, you won’t need to pay them. Your agent (if you have one – I think they’re crucial, but not everybody agrees) will only be paid when he or she sells your work. This will be in the form of a commission percentage taken from whatever money the publishers pay /you/.

But really, I’m sorry to harp on, but it’s stage one that counts. Write your book. [For some tips about procrastination, click here]. Make your book as good as you can possibly make it. With determination, and luck, everything else comes /afterwards/.

…And the password in Black Tat? Go to the site, click on ‘What Is The Black Tattoo?’ and click on ‘Locked’.

OK Linda, hope that’s helpful! And thanks so much again for getting in touch!

Anyone else want to ask me something…? 😉

Q&A time again. My thanks and best wishes today to Edward Z, who asks: Is any of the stuff about nanobots in Tim actually true, or are nanobots in general just a completely made up concept used only for literature and film purposes? I know there is nanotechnology, but actual nano robots?

Hey Edward! Sorry it’s taken me a few days to get back to you, I’m hard at work on the next book. Glad you liked the sound of that, by the way – I’m excited, too!

Nanobots are, at the moment, entirely fictional – or as far as we know (secret experiments notwithstanding!) at least! HOWEVER: the ideas that fed into (Tim’s nemesis-!) Professor Mallahide and his talents are most definitely based on real things, and the work of two men in particular.

One is K. Eric Drexler. The current state of play about the feasibility (or otherwise!) of nanobots is nicely summarized in a Wikipedia article about him, here.

Another is Hans Moravec. Mallahide’s ideas about the essential crumminess of the human body as a means of carrying us around in the world (ideas I happen to agree with) were definitely inspired by Moravec. Here’s a link to his page on Wikipedia. His interviews are always good fun, too, full of all sorts of mind-bending notions: here’s one that I dug up from Google just now.

I’m not a scientist. Far from it. I just want to write fun stories, so the big impetus with me is less to do with what human technology is currently or actually capable of, and more to do with the magical and inspiring question of ‘WHAT IF…?’ And of course, I’m not the only one. There’s already quite a solid tradition of nanobots in fiction: PREY, by Michael Crichton, is tremendous fun, and BLOOD MUSIC by Greg Bear is absolutely amazing.

Anyway, if you fancy some follow-up reading, the above should be enough to get you started. 🙂

A fine first day at the NYC Comic Con, remind me to tell you about it sometime. But internet access from here is somewhat wonky, so for now I’ll keep this short and – hopefully – sweet (or sweeter than my last post’s nightmare vision of yours truly’s ravening glossy-pink features as I prepared to consume half the Atlantic Ocean’s piscine population, at any rate ;p) by pointing you in the direction of this Q&A piece I put together for the US booksellers Powell’s.

And yes, it’s true, I am really related to a wizard. Well, that’s what they called him at the time, anyhow!